When to say 'when'

Knowing when to call it 'enough' isn't exactly a strong point of mine, but if I really take some time to weigh the options and listen to my gut.. I can eventually figure it out. I always say that you know something is the right decision for you when you can feel good about it and don't feel like you have to justify or explain yourself. This week has continued to be a bit of a slap in the old pregnant face as I officially have started to 'feel' more pregnant.. I even catch myself doing a bit of a waddle, if I'm not being careful! A waddle is fine and all, but I don't want to find myself in another back issue situation, so I quickly pull it together, straighten up the back and use whatever core I still have in there to try to walk a bit more normal. So here's a few new things that have popped up for me to enjoy this past week.. Low belly pain. I think I mentioned this before, but wow..those muscles are sick and tired of being sick and tired, I guess! I mentioned it to the doc today..he didn't seem concerned, as usual, and basically attributed it to the baby's head being 'wedged down in there pretty good' (lovely..). So as usual, the take home message there is to suck it up for the remainder of this beautiful thing called pregnancy..and if something is causing more pain..cut it out. So I've used my brace for running this week and I'm doing pretty well, for the most part.. No killer pain like the day I came home from kc..so we'll call it a win? For now, anyway.. The speed is completely gone from my biking.. Again, something I suppose I knew would happen, but I officially am off the group ride circuit and am only able to cruise through my hood, solo, in the early hours of the day.. Though I still get those ligament pains that have pretty much been around since fairly early this pregnancy, I still enjoy riding for now, so that's what I'll do! I rode two times for 30 min at a time this week..no idea how far or fast..just out to enjoy my bike. Speaking of my bike, it is now quite a challenge to get on the thing! I kind of have to stand back and get a big kick going to clear the frame and not catch my cleat on it.. Quite amusing, I'm sure, which is part of the reason that I will be riding alone and in the early morning hours.. Not to mention how awesome an 8mo pregnant gal looks in spandex! That's gotta be a real treat for anyone that catches me out there.. Very heat sensitive! Seems that even running in the early hours of the day this week, the heat and humidity has really been getting to me, slows me down even more, and has left me a bit woozy after running.. That isn't normal for me, so with a break in the heat and humidity this weekend, I'm going to give running another try before I bail..but if this keeps up, I guess it'll be time to trade my runs for the elliptical. I'd be bummed to not be able to just head out and enjoy the sunrise and lovely mornings, but I can't ignore the woozy, pass-outy feeling that has come after my 2 short, slow runs of this week. Strange how I had such a good week of running last week..but as I mentioned, things are constantly changing and I just have to try to keep up! Swimming actually, finally feels really good?! After months of wondering what the heck is wrong with me and this baby and why swimming seemed to cause such pain.. I must have slowed down enough to finally get to enjoy the time in the pool..so I have that going for me! I've been in the pool 3x this week and plan to get back out there tomorrow. Welcome insomnia! Been waiting for that side effect to kick in.. It's not every night, but it's definitely become more regular for me to wake up at 2 or 3 and need to watch some tv or browse a little interweb before I can fall back asleep.. Maybe that's part of why my body isn't liking my am runs? Hmm.. Temporary farewell to crossfit. Back to the whole 'knowing when to say when' idea.. I know I could continue crossfit for another month..but is it really what I need to be doing right now? Though I still feel pretty good in the workouts and I always enjoy them, It had started to fall into the 'needing to justify myself' category. When I'm having sore belly muscles, feeling woozy from exerting myself in the heat, and often having to rush to get to the workout before taking Mason to where he needs to be because I don't want to wait too long and have it be too warm.. It was starting to feel like something I was forcing vs something that fit and made sense in our day. So as much as it pains me and as much as I'll be counting the days til I can go back, I called it 'enough' with crossfitting for now..until after I'm healed from having my baby boy. But. I did have a good week of crossfit workouts this week and even felt pretty good! So I feel like I'm leaving on a good note.. My last workout was a 21-15-9 of pull-ups (I can still rock a body weight pull-up! Though much slower than my butterflies..but it's nice to still do my beloved pull-ups), step-ups (in place of box jumps..way too much belly pain with those!) and pistols (1 legged squats.. Woah..had to use a step to sit to and I almost couldn't get back up!). Then, to cap it off, I did double unders (jump rope) and side crunches.. Good way to part ways.. For now.. I plan to continue crossfit-style workouts at the Y or at home..or even at the playground..for as long as I can. I do want to keep up my strength and I just love the style of workouts that they provide, but I can go my own pace and choose things that work well for me. So that's that! I already can't wait to get back to it as soon as I can. Mason has already told me that he will "hold his baby brother gently so he won't walk away" while I work out..so sounds like a plan! I guess that's it for now. I won't mention my exact plan for my workout tomorrow because that would pretty much be setting myself up for things to go wrong.. But I'm feeling pretty good today. I have 6 weeks left of pregnancy and though I'm 'feeling it' more and more these days, I really do love it all and can't complain about a thing! Except maybe the being sick for 40 weeks..other than that, though, it's been a dream!

Well...,huh..

You know it's gonna be a great post with an attention grabber like that title.. But that's how I feel. I'm not trying to be dense, but I just cannot figure out where my limits are with this pregnancy. I had joked before about figuring it out by the time I gave birth, but with only 6-ish weeks to go, that isn't looking like such a joke anymore. It just seems that some days, I'll be fine and feel great with whatever workout I'm doing, but the next day or week..no good. I just never know. What will be too much?..is it a hilly run that included a stop at the playground to do some crossfit style work? Walking around the airport? An early bike ride? Two weeks ago, or so, I was able to get a couple good 20mi rides in with no problem.. Once on the 4th, and then again that Saturday when I led the workout for the TNT Steelhead crew.. So..why did my early ride a week later feel so crappy? And today.. Knocked on my tail again.. Of coarse, smart, hindsight me can pinpoint some issues.. Last Saturday's ride I broke a few of my 'pregnancy rules' that I had set for myself early on.. I told myself 'no riding in the dark', and then I also had my 5am workout ban after feeling crappy following a few early am swims.. AND I knew I slept horribly that night, so kinda had an idea that the ride might be ill fated..but I made a promise to meet with my friend, and I wasn't going to bail on her.. So we tried, but I could tell right away that it wasn't going well, so we bailed early and just did about 8mi, instead of the 15 we had planned on. The hot, hilly run and crossfit workout? Eh. I guess you could say that was a bit much, but typically running and crossfit are the two things that have felt the best for me throughout this pregnancy.. But I guess combining the two.. And the run being hillier than my usual routes (I was back at my parents house in Overland Park, KS for my grandpa's funeral..no one ever believes me that Kansas is actually pretty good for rolling hill runs, but it's true). I felt ok at first, but later my low belly muscles let me know they were not pleased with me.. So I took it easy for a couple days and was feeling better. Now to today, I was set to lead another tri workout and had planned a lovely 3mi rolling hill run followed by a long ride for the team..short ride for me..then the team was to do a short transition run after their ride.. I say 'was to', as in 'it didn't happen' because no one showed up to join me?! But stubborn ol me.. I was already there and set to run and ride, so why stray from that plan? It was a cooler morning, so the run was pretty good.. But I started not feeling great while I stood around talking and getting ready to ride. But I had some food and some cold accelerade/Gatorade and figured I'd at least give it a try.. But much like that early ride a week ago.. I could tell immediately that I wasn't feeling great and needed to cut the ride to a mere 10mi. I was only planning to go 15 mi, and I think I would have been fine to finish it, but I knew the area and route and figured there was nothing to gain and more to lose by pushing it.. Plus that would have broken another of my 'pregnant riding rules', which is not to ride alone. I was way too slow to ride with the group, so I found myself alone out there and am pretty sure that when the short ride split off from the longer routes, I'd be going solo.. So anyway, now here I am with those sore low belly muscles. I think things are just getting pretty heavy in there..might need to go back to wearing my belly/back brace when I run to help hold up the load! So anyway, like I said..every time I think I know what my body can handle and what my limits are..it seems like they change.. But I'll keep trying to learn from it and not put myself or the baby in jeopardy. He's always been good in check ups and moves around a lot to let me know he's doing alright. It never feels like a kind of pain that is putting him in danger..it always just feels like my body is getting pushed and reaching a new limit. For this week, I plan to stick with short, flat, easy am runs, maybe some easy spins on my bike, just around my neighborhood, where I can ride my own pace and just enjoy my bike..for as long as that feels enjoyable, some mid-am swims, and we'll see how crossfit feels this week.. It'll either still be fine and I'll continue for another month before the baby comes.. Or it'll make me too sore and I'll know it's time to back off of it until after I'm all healed up from having the baby. So we'll just see how that goes! Day by day, for sure..

And on the 3rd day, he rests..

Mason and I have been having quite the battle of wits here lately 'bout the same time every day..nap time! He says "I'm not tired", I say something really smart like "go to sleep because I say so", and it goes a little something like that for the next couple hours while I try to rest, but get increasingly frustrated by his refusal to sleep. Why do I get worked up over this? Well, plenty of silly reasons, I'm sure, but also because.. I DO know best and I know my guy needs his sleep, or he turns in to a crazy person. It may not be right away, which is what tricks most people, but he will, for sure, have a melt down if he doesn't get his sleep. So knowing this, I wage the battle.. And lost the last two days. But today, though he started with the same arguments, in just a short while, there was silence.. And 3 hours later, he emerges a well-rested, super sweet little guy. Totally worth the continued battles and I stand by my 'never give in' stance on the nap issue. I know lots of folks think that, at four, he's ready to give up naps..but I say...nope, not yet! Why is this important? It's not, really.. But I DID need my rest today. I was able to get some decent working out in this lovely, warm July holiday morning..and it was lovely! I took a chance at seeing how my cycling was going.. I was a little nervous because I hadn't been out to ride in a couple weeks.. And my last time out was a slow, crampy, breathless mess.. But we went out early, and I reasoned myself out of an early, quick jog before the ride, which would have been unnecessary and possibly ruined my ride.. Why I even considered adding an early run to my workout plans? Don't have an answer for that one. Old habits die hard, I suppose. But anyway.. I wasn't able to eat much, due to my little guys aversion to pretty much ALL food, so I mixed up some accelerade and hoped for the best. We were just doing our usual 20 mi loop, but I felt good! Just a couple times where I cramped a bit or felt a little out of breath, but I recovered quickly and managed to keep up just fine! Though this was an easy, recovery ride for my fellow riders.. That's how I gotta get 'em these days! The more worn out my buddies are, the better shot I have at riding with them. After the ride, I guess I was feeling cocky because we went out to do a little swimming. I was starting to feel a little 'low sugar-y', but mixed up some more accel/Gatorade and ate a couple bites of my son's un-eaten oatmeal and I was fine. I kept it easy in the water, as is necessary for these days. I've started just going by time vs counting laps or distance, which can lead to a)being bummed about how few laps you can swim these days, and b)swimming after some arbitrary distance goal that means nothing right now.. So now I just divide out the time I have to swim and say, for example..swim regular 10 min, pull for the next 10 min, kick for 10, etc.. That seems to be working pretty well for me. I still feel the best when I pull with paddles.. I can really move with those thigs on! Now I just need to figure out how to swim like that without..you know.. Cheating! It was a rather intense morning in the pool.. Full of walkers? And slow, older swimmers with a tendency to swing their arms way wide and weave a bit in the lane.. Makes for some interesting lap swimming! We have this gigantic 8 lane 50m pool to use, but somehow, us lap swimmers are in the minority and get to figure out how to navigate through all those walkers and water aerobics folk out there. Of coarse, we don't have those issues at 5am! Maybe I need to get to sleep earlier and see if the cold shower idea helps keep me feeling good enough to get back out there early enough to miss all that foolishness. We'll see.. But for now, I feel good about being able to at least ride 20 mi with the TNT group when I coach this Saturday.. So I have that going for me! Those lucky little triathletes..

And now for something completely different..

..gymnastics Olympic Trials! Please tell me I'm not the only one that cries like a baby during Olympics and trials and such? Maybe it's just me.. Or maybe it's the hormones.. But man, was I a wreck tonight watching gymnastics. I mean, I can tear up a bit in other sports..seeing someone qualify for the games for the first time or something, but gymnastics gets me every time. Probably because it was my first 'love', if that's not too weird to say.. The first thing I sacrificed hours of my time, ditched friends to be with, overlooked any negatives (injuries, etc) to just keep in touch with the thing I couldn't get enough of.. I was a gymnast for a long time, and for all of my 'growing up' years..unless you count the years of growing up I still had to do once I started working.. But, though I never had Olympic dreams of my own..despite everyone always asking that any time they found out I was a gymnast..do other sports do that? No one ever asked me about soccer, but people always assume that if I spent that much time in the sport, I must want to go to the Olympics.. But I didn't. Mama didn't raise no fool and I knew college gymnastics was my path.. But anyway, for some reason, I feel these kids pain..how much work has gone in to preparing for trials.. I felt for those that didn't have a great night and could see the 'dream' slip away. I cried big ol crocodile tears when Nastia got her standing O, despite not great performances, but the crowd knew how hard she tried and honored her for all she has done for the sport.. Anyway. I just wanted to share..and hope others feel the same love for sports and competition. I obviously have long since left my gymnastics days behind me, but I think..actually, I know that the sport has done so much to make me who I am today.. Both good and bad. My dedication, strength, confidence, stubbornness.. Luckily I've been able to use those qualities for endurance sports and, most recently, in crossfit.. But I also use it in just every day things.. As hard as gymnastics is on your body, I'm not sure that any sport can rival it in the character building that it can offer, when in the right hands (though I think it can also be devastating in the wrong hands, but I guess all great things have the potential to go terribly awry, if the circumstances aren't right). So that's that. I can't wait for the Olympics to start.. And a 100m run-off tomorrow?! I can't imagine how tough that would be.. Crazy. Or for the swimmers who come in within a second of qualifying..but just doesn't cut it? Sheesh. That's rough. As for the weekend..that's the last time I'll post a 'planned' workout! I suppose my plan for Saturday was ambitious, given that I recently mentioned that my recovery ability ain't what it used to be and I need to shelf the back-to-back stuff, but as soon as I declared those plans, I felt sick all Friday evening. I woke up determined to at least try to move, because it usually helps.. I slept in a bit and opted just to swim. It went alright.. Then I made sure to stick with a cool shower.. No more vaso-dilation for this girl! But I still didn't feel great, so I settled with just a swim for the day. Today I got in a pretty good run. Nothing special, but felt pretty good, until some cramps kicked in at the end.. I think the heat and humidity got me and I should have taken water. But that was it! I've been ridiculously cautious with my eating today and felt pretty ok most of the day. Maybe, just maybe I'll have this thing figured out by the time this little fella arrives. Not holding my breath, though.