I'm an idiot..

..and now I can't walk.. Damnit!!#*%#*!! Ugh. So frustrating. Such a bummer. But I think I've gone through the stages of grieving..or at least as many as I can remember and am capable of..denial..big ol' CHECK on that one! Bargaining.. I figured I'd take 1 whole day off, a second day of just an easy swim and then I'll be good to go..right? Well, After a quick search on Methodist sports medicine page..I was on the right track..until the whole 'now I can run 8 miles' thing.. I was starting to feel pretty good yesterday. The swim felt fine. Massage was far from a 'cure-all', but it was relaxing and nice. I rolled and iced.. I was feeling good! Confident. Too confident, I suppose.. My plan was to just get out and run as long as my body would allow.. No distance goals..just get out and enjoy. Well, I had plenty of chances to bail at what would probably have been a more reasonable distance.. The pain was mild and dull, but I should have recognized that starting with 'mild' pain, likely meant I'd be heading to 'sharp' pain if I didn't wrap things up..quit while I was ahead.. That's what I should have done.. But no. Everything else felt so good! I know that makes no sense.. "so every step with your right foot hurts..at best 'mildly'..but you say this s good?".. But work with me. I suppose it's all relative..when you're used to pushing through discomforts..plantar fasciitis, constantly feeling like you need to pee(on account of the human inside you pushing on your bladder), nausea, ridiculously, abnormally out of breath..all of these things have kind of been the 'norm' for me, so when cardio-wise and everything else on me felt great..yes, a little dull pain in my back/hip did feel pretty good to me. Problem was, I should have quit way before I did. I should have been happy with a 3 or 4 mi run and called it a day.. But that wouldn't be me. Nope. Not the way I roll. I had to keep going and as the pain slowly got stronger, I was too far away to really do anything about it. I tried to keep on. Tried to keep my form in check. Thought maybe squeezing my butt a little, to keep my back from being too arched..and kind of 'pushing back' into the stride, vs just letting your foot 'fall' to the ground..maybe that would help? And it did..for a bit.. But the bottom dropped out and with about a mile left to get home, I had to slow to a walk..and a painful walk, at that. I did manage to 'run it in' at the end, but I had officially done it. I knew I screwed up. I knew it was my fault. So now what. I'm icing, of coarse. I did my research on what my next step should be, because I was all set to call the doc, head to PT, chiropractor..the works.. but. After doing a little light reading, sounds like I should just chill..at least for a week or 2, to see if things get better on their own. Since I don't think it was any specific injury, I think it's just some flared up BS and I need to give it a minute for things to get back to working order. So where does that bring me to in the stages of grief? Got mad..felt sorry for myself..now I accept that something is wrong and I sort of have a game plan.. The article I read recommended just a couple days off from the initial time of pain, but bed rest isn't actually the best thing for it (ahem..music to my stubborn ears), but that running isn't a good idea for at least a couple of weeks.. But, lucky for me, swimming and cycling are both on the a-ok list..so I guess that's what I'll be doing more of for a bit. Plan..no running or lifting for 2 weeks..then re-asses to see if I need another week or two off, or if I'm set to ease (that's 'ease', fool..as in a short run, fool.. Not 8 miles...fool) back in. I'll ice and rest until I can stand up and move without complete discomfort, when I can do that (hoping in the next day or 2..or 3), then I will swim and bike and scale crossfit stuff to be no weight lifting.. Just body weight stuff..sound good? I'm super bummed and mostly pissed at myself for being an idiot and setting myself back like this, but I did it.. All me.. All by myself.. So now I need to be a big girl and take care of myself. I'm already looking forward to that first, pain-free run that I know is waiting for me.. But until then, strict orders from yours truly to stop being such an idiot!!